Francine Rivers Does it Again

One of the things I hate most about reading is when I finally find a great book to read and I completely devour it say, within a day. This is what happened yesterday when I bought my first e-book, The Atonement Child, by Francine Rivers. I bought the book yesterday around noon and I was done before 9pm. Now I am back to square one looking for my next book to read. Sigh.

Francine Rivers is an exceptional author who writes books about subject matters which are excruciatingly intense. This book was no exception. The book centers around the main character Dynah, who is a college student engaged to a wonderful Christian man who is an aspiring Pastor to be. Everything in Dynah's life was going great, she couldn't ask for anything more. Until one night the unthinkable happened, when she was attacked and raped on the college campus.

Dynah's life quickly went from bad to worse as she received news she was in fact pregnant. The fiance she was soon to wed didn't take the news well which put distance between them. Actually, their relationship completely dissolved. He met someone else and was engaged again within three weeks. Everyone in Dynah's life began to put pressure on her to have the baby aborted. Dynah was soon asked to leave her Christian College which did not condone pregnant single mothers, no matter the situation. Dynah was faced with the decision of a lifetime as she is forced to put her faith to the test. The book is beautifully written and is a wonderful story of a girl who encounters the unthinkable, and makes it through with her faith intact.

Kids and Carbs

This past Saturday Jeff and I had the opportunity to go and visit a Advent group home in our area. The home is only a few blocks from our house. :)

We brought snacks for them and even had a little bible study. It was cool to just hang out with them because they are actually really good kids who just need some guidance and love. I played basketball with a few kids while Jeff had a heart to heart talk with one of the boys. It was cool because although their language was terrible and used four letter words as adjectives, it was cool to hear their hearts and answer genuine questions they had about God. I am excited to go back and continue to develop relationships with the kids in hopes to minister to them and in someway make a difference in their lives.

Jeff and I also started a new diet. I got the idea of the "no flour, no sugar diet" from a friend of mine. The diet basically lets you eat all of the meat, fruit, cheese, veggies and proteins you want but minus the chips, breads, tortillas, pasta and of course sugar. You can have brown rice and whole grain breads and pastas instead.

We have been on it for a few weeks now and so far it hasn't been that bad. It has been forcing us to eat better and eliminate the needless carbs out of our diet. I have been feeling a lot better eliminating the breads out of my diet. I have felt a lot less bloated after meals and I generally have more energy.

Out with the Girls.....

Last Thursday night we skipped bible study and had a girls night out instead. We went out for dinner and a movie and we also celebrated Mary's birthday afterwards. I don't think I have ever ate so much food! I had a great time and felt like I was in high school again as we laughed and acted silly all night.

I am so blessed to be a part of our ladies bible study. I love the group of ladies we have and the fellowship we share. It is a treat every Thursday as we grow closer and learn together. The accountability has been great for me as I am continually challenged to give up everything for the sake of following Jesus.

My Walk Mondays. Faith in Motion.

"The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. " Genesis 12:1

Our family has been going through a lot of changes lately. My husband was laid off in January from his job of more than 12 years. We have also been attending a new church for the last month. Yes, a lot of changes. It reminds me of Genesis 12 where God told Abram to take his family and set out for the place He will show them. Abram was to leave everything that was comfortable and familiar and travel somewhere new. But God didn't give Abram any details other than the command to go. For some reason God didn't want Abram to know the details - maybe because Abram wouldn't have wanted to go had he known the situation. Or maybe, God wanted to test his faith, or maybe the journey WAS the destination.

This is hard to grasp because I am a person that likes to know all of the details. For example, last Summer we took a trip to So Cal to visit Disneyland, Sea World and Universal Studios. I planned the entire trip in advance, we had our tickets, coupons, everything. Nothing was left to chance. I thoroughly enjoyed going over the details again and again- well in advance. I spent hours reading park reviews, maps, mulling over ticket prices, and hotel accommodations because I wanted everything to be just right. I wanted our vacation experience to be well thought out and well prepared. I just wanted us to have the best time possible.

Going on vacation took no faith on our part. We had the maps, ticket receipts and itinerary confirmations. Everything was set for us to simply show up.

But Abram was given a completely different mission. He was basically told to leave home and start walking with directions to follow.

This is the faith that Abram was later commended for in Hebrews 11:8-10

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God."

He didn't merely believe what God said, but he took it a step further. He put his faith into motion when he took his family and set out for this unknown destination. His faith was activated the moment his sandals hit the road. He obeyed before he saw any evidence, before there was a Messiah or the Holy Spirit.

As I think of God's faithfulness in Abram's life I am excited to see what God has in store for us. I want faith like Abram, where I don't just believe in God, but I want to put my faith into motion. Maybe it's not so much about the destination as it is about the journey.

My Walk Monday - Perfect Day

This past Sunday Jeff and I decided to go to the beach after church. As soon as church was over we raced home to get our beach gear. The weather in Santa Cruz was probably the hottest I can remember and made for a perfect beach day.

We had fun wading in the water which was surprisingly refreshing for the month of April. We also took naps under the sun and even got some color. Jeff of course got brown, while I got a nice shade of pink. Later that night we went to the wharf and enjoyed a great meal at a fabulous seafood restaurant. We had a beautiful view of the ocean from our table, and enjoyed personal and intimate conversation. I felt as though I fell in love all over again. The day was awesome and we even got lost on the way home. It was so fun.

We both agreed our date day was amazing because it was as though we were boyfriend and girlfriend again. It was definitely a blessing to get away for a day, even if it was only to Santa Cruz. Ever since we got home we feel so much closer to each other, as if our relationship was completely refreshed. I can definitely see how important it is to get away with your spouse and take that time to really get to know the other person in a new way. We didn't talk about money, or kids, or errands we need to run, we just opened our hearts to each other. I am so blessed for the wonderful Sabbath and the amazing friend God has given me in Jeff.

Thankful Thursday. Resting on God's Promises.

This has been a tough week for me, but I am thankful that I can always find comfort in God's word, no matter the circumstance. We as Christians have a choice in the way in which we live out our Christian walk.

We can choose to live life through the eyes of faith, or we can look at our circumstances and walk by sight. In order to live a live of faith we need to constantly meditate on and choose to believe God's word. God's Word actually gives us faith. "So, then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." Romans 10:17

I am also thankful for loving friends God has blessed me with who are wonderful examples of faith in action. I am also thankful that God's Word NEVER changes. It's solid and concrete, just like a rock.

I have a collection of verses posted on my desk at work which always minister to me.

I have posted them below, I hope you like it. :)

• You say: "It's impossible." God says: All things are possible. Luke 18:27
  
• You say: "I'm too tired." God says: I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28-30
  
• You say: "Nobody really loves me." God says: I love you. John 3:16, John 3:34
  
• You say: "I can't go on." God says: My grace is sufficient. 2 Corinthinas 12:9 , Psalms 91:15
  
• You say: "I can't figure things out." God says: I will direct your steps. Proverbs 3:5-6
  
• You say: "I can't do it." God says: You can do all things. Philippians 4:13
  
• You say: "I'm not able." God says: I am able. 2 Corinthians 9:8
  
• You say: "It's not worth it." God says: It will be worth it. Romans 8:28
  
• You say: "I can't forgive myself." God says: I forgive you. 1 John 1:9 & Romans 8:1
  
• You say: "I am afraid." God says: I have not give you a sprit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7
  
• You say: "I am always worried and afraid." God says: Cast all your cares upon me. 1 Peter 5:7
  
• You say: "I'm not smart enough." God says: I give you wisdom. James 1:5
  
• You say: "I feel all alone." God says: I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

My Walk Mondays. Revive Us...............

2 Chronicles 7:14 is one of my favorite verses of all time because it voices my heart's desire and the vision of my life. When I first read this verse, my heart nearly collapsed within me because it voiced the desire of my very being.

I desire to be a person who lives as a vessel for God to use to spill out onto this dying world. I love Jesus so much because He is my everything. He is my hope and nothing else matters! He gives me my every breath and has saved me from this world and from myself. He loves me just because that is who He is! How could I not give my life back to Him as a gift? Why would I not want to lay all that I am before Him in sacrificial reverence in hopes that others will see Him in me?

This verse in 2 Chronicles is beautiful because it is a formula to see God move on behalf of others. It is not an easy task, it takes work, sweat and toil, but the benefits are eternal and the fruits are delicious. In order for God to use me I must be humble, I must be absent because if other people see me, I have failed. The goal of ministry is for others to see Him in me because He is the only person who can save. He is the true life-giver.

When I look around this world, I see brokenness, poverty, death and despair. I see people dying and going to hell without a Savior. I see people who have lost hope and have no direction. I see Christians without victory or joy. This verse is critical because God is looking for anyone to look up to heaven and answer His call and become His tool. His heart is for people, so that must be our heart as well. We need to be revived over and over because God's vessels leak. We need to constantly be filled with more of Him. He is alive and in the miracle business, and He is not in a recession!

Steps for Revival:

1) Humble yourself
2) Pray and seek His face
3) Turn from your wicked ways


"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
2 Chronicles 7:14

Dear Lord,

I humble myself before you today. You are my Maker and You deserve all my praise. I give you this week and I pray that you would draw me close to you in a new way. I have missed you lately and I am coming back today. Draw me to a deeper walk with you because I need you. Please take my life and show me the areas of my life which are not pleasing to you. Help me to stop wrestling with you and give you full control. Please hear from heaven and heal my land. Make me a blessing to my family and those I come into contact this week.

Amen.

My Walk Mondays. Hard Lessons.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." Psalms 20:7

Lately, I have been realizing that I do not trust in God to the degree that I should. I need to put my complete trust in Him for all things. I need Him to be first in my life above anyone or anything else. This is hard for me because I tend to elevate people and put my trust in them. I can also become self sufficient and put my hope in my own efforts to accomplish a task, or handle a situation. But, I find that these things will always let me down because anyone or anything which takes God's place in my life simply won't do. I find myself helplessly on my knees back in a place of surrender waiting for Him to come rescue me again. I love that He will and does, every time.

I have also been learning another tremendously hard lesson. I know God is teaching me to wait on Him. This is incredibly huge for me because I am an impatient person to say the least. I want everything NOW. I drive fast, I hate waiting in lines, and I like fast progress. I am in a season in my life where God is teaching me to wait on Him for everything, and be entirely dependent on Him. God is not as interested in meeting my needs as He is in my relation to Him. He wants my heart and my worship, even in the little things.

Lord, please help me to trust in You and not in my own efforts, or in people around me. Help me to surrender my will over to you in worship. Teach me to be patient and to wait upon You. Help me to give up my own agenda and timetable in order to seek You. I surrender my entire heart and being over to you and I am thankful that You are on the throne.

My Walk Monday - Life at 16?

My post is a little late this week as I have been extremely busy. :)


This past Sunday I had the privilege to join my hubby for a trip inside the California Youth Authority in Stockton, California. It was my first time in the YA, so I was a bit unsure what to expect. We drove over an hour in the pouring rain to meet the fellow members of the Wildfire Ministries team. We showed our identification and then proceeded in through the guard gate. I was then given a "panic button" which was supposed to be pressed in the state of an emergency. It was more like an outdated pager from the 90's that was not exactly high tech. We then went to the chapel which is where the services are held for all of the kids who wish to attend. The ages of the youth ranged from 14 and can go up to 25 years of age.

Several members of our team got up and shared some encouraging words to the young men. Pastor Matthew also shared a mini sermon on the Beatitudes and the boys seemed to enjoy it. Afterwards, we had ice cream with them and I had the chance to get to know some of the young boys. I started talking with three particular boys who were talking to each other in the corner of the room. They seemed really young and sweet, not very different from my nephews. We immediately started introducing ourselves to one another and two of the boys happened to be 16 and the other 17 years of age. Then they started to tell me how two of them had "life" and the other had "25" years in jail, as if it was part of a normal introduction.

I was not sure what they meant. I thought they were making fun of each other in order to make the other guy look stupid or something. But, after a few moments of silence I realized they were telling the truth. I was unsure what to say since a minute ago we were laughing and talking about the ice cream and all of a sudden I felt like crying for them. I didn't want to show that I was shocked or make them feel as though they were less than. I WAS shocked, but not in a disgusted way. I was shocked in a sad way wondering how they got to this point in their lives and what must have happened to them. I wondered where their parents were and if they came to visit much.

I then proceeded to encourage them the best way I knew how and tell them that God could use their lives inside the jails. They could be missionaries inside the youth authority and start inviting the other boys to the church services. They could grow to disciple the other boys and learn trades to pass the time. God could transform them and give them hope and purpose inside the walls of the youth correctional facility and the prisons they would later be transferred to. I told them to read the book of Psalms and read all about King David who was a murderer and yet loved God with all his heart. Their little faces lit up as they were so eager to hear about any sort of hope. It was obvious they struggled with guilt and shame and my heart went out to them.

Afterwards the chaplain confirmed that most of the boys with life sentences were prosecuted for homicide related crimes. I was shocked at the reality of everything and how the Chaplain talked about these issues as if it was an everyday situation. He explained on a rare occasion they may end up getting paroled if they succeed through the appeal process, but most likely will not. After the service was over I then returned my "panic button" to the guard station and that was that.

Ever since we left I can't help but wonder what must have happened in order for those kids to end up in a situation like that. Sometimes it's a split second decision that can alter your course for ever. I wonder if the crimes they committed were premeditated or if it was merely just a bad decision. I wonder how they could be so deceived into thinking they were on the right track and why they could not choose a better way of life for themselves? Perhaps no one was there to tell them differently, or maybe the lies outweighed the good and so they chose their path. I wonder what type of homes they grew up in and what their influences were.

I could not help but look on these kids with compassion and mercy despite their present set of circumstances.

I am going to be praying for them that God would do a work in their hearts and bless them no matter what things look like as I am unsure what else to think at this point.

Romans Chapter 1. The Just shall live by Faith...

Romans is by far my favorite book of the entire Bible. I enjoy it because it's terribly complex and yet full of grace. This letter holds some of the most fundamental themes in the Bible. In chapter one, Paul is writing to the Romans because he desires to visit them, to teach them regarding salvation through faith, and he also speaks about sin. The theme of salvation by faith is woven throughout the book of Romans as best stated in Romans 1:17, "The just shall live by faith." This verse is incredible and holds a key element to the life of the believer. The term "just" is from the Greek work "Dikaois" and it means righteousness, or more simply - having a right standing before God. Paul wrote this book to the Romans because he felt called by God to preach to Gentiles, and so he wrote this letter to the Romans.

The Gentiles were thought of as inferior, because they were not Jewish. The Jews were given the oracles of God (Romans 3:2) and they were in fact God's chosen people. Paul's desire was to show the Gentiles that they were not less than because God came for all people and His desire was that all would be saved. Paul wanted to clear up some wrong teachings and point them salvation by faith. I love Romans 1:17 because it takes a complex issue such as justification and salvation, and basically points out that it is by faith and faith alone that a believer is made righteous. The active tense of live in Romans 1:17 is also interesting because it deals with the here and now. We are righteous today because of our faith in what Christ has done at one point and time. Not only were we made righteous when we were first saved by faith, but we are also to live out our sanctification through faith in Christ's power as well. Paul longed for the Romans to realize that their righteousness or right standing before God had nothing to do with their ancestry or their outward observance of the law. This was controversial because people put their faith in their acts of righteousness or "superiority" instead of His one act of righteousness. This meant hope for the Gentiles who were probably discouraged or dejected because of their under privileged position.

Paul goes on to speak of the sins which Christ came to save sinners from. These unrighteous deeds found in the chapter include idolatry, rebellion, sensuality, murder, homosexuality, and a wide array of sins which result from the rebellion against God's authority. These sins invoke the "wrath of God", or the necessity to judge sin. In order for Christ to be a perfect sacrifice, He has to be fair. He must judge sin because justice is an attribute of a Holy God. Paul speaks on the topic of idolatry, immorality, and homosexuality and I thought this was interesting since these subjects are nothing new. It says in Romans chapter one that these people have a craving for evil, they have allowed their hearts to become hard and God gave them over to what their flesh desired. They chose to allow anger, unforgiveness, disobedience and rebellion against God's authority to harden their heart and God gave them over to this state. This was not God's heart,(Romans 5:8) but He will never force salvation upon anyone. God has revealed himself to all mankind through creation, so nobody can claim they were not told.(Romans 1:20) This chapter is crucial because it states that God gave these people over to a reprobate mind. The law of progression had it's way and they chose to give in to their flesh and continually reject God. He let them continue in the sin which brought about moral corruption upon themselves.

This is a devastating reality in our culture today as laws are now being redefined. People want to adjust the law to make room for their ever changing ethics. Situational ethics is a problem because our culture does not seem to be satisfied, nor aware of the devastating consequences of sin. God made laws and the commandments to be a means of protection, and His desire is for them to be life giving, not burdensome. Marriage is important because marriage is a representation of the relationship with Christ and his church, as we are the bride of Christ. Traditional marriage is glorifying to God because it defines the relationship between God and man, and it also upholds the family unit.

Matthew 5:13-16:
"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? ... You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid... Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

The purpose of the church (Christians) is to be the salt of the earth and make disciples of all men. In order to be salt, Christians need to stand for what is right. They need to establish their presence through the values they uphold, by making disciples of all men, by voting for truth, and by preserving the family unit through righteousness. The church is also to be a place of love where people can come and be saved. But how does the church deal with these controversial issues? Well, Christ came for everyone. Jew, Greek, man, woman, everyone. Romans is a great example of this. But, sin is real and so are the consequences. People reap what they sow and this will never change. It is important that the church be a place of love and safety, but also a place of truth.

The basic nature of God's Justice: Galatians 6: 7-9 (KJV)

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. "

Christ's desire is for all men to be saved(Romans 1:16), and Christians need to grasp this. They need to preach God's word, all of it, and The Holy Spirit will do the convicting. The sword of the Spirit is the only weapon which is able to penetrate the bones and marrow and go deep inside to bring the soul to Christ not only for salvation but for ongoing conviction of sin.

Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Our culture is getting darker, hearts are continually getting harder, but Christ's message of love and Redemption is still the same. It will never change. When making disciples of all men we need to be loving, gracious, and speak truth. The truth is that God is just and the consequences of sin is death. (Romans 5:8) Salvation can only come when a person realizes their sin and their need for a savior. When the word is preached, the Holy Spirit can convict, and the sinner can turn from their sin unto a loving Father who is Holy and Just and ever ready to come in and take residence. May our hearts desire be to see people come to the saving knowledge of salvation by faith and not through the law. May we strive to be a source of salt which is salty enough to remain the only preservation left here on Earth until Christ's return.

Have You Been Set FREE?

So, I found this song online and it is one of my favorites.

It's by Stephen Curtis Chapman and it's titled, "Free".

This song is POWERFUL because it talks about freedom in Christ and the power of salvation found in Jesus Christ. The lyrics describe a man who visits a prison yard and meets a prisoner who seems out of place within the prison walls. He was a shining light in this unexpected place because He was set free by the power of Jesus.

Check out the lyrics below.

"Free" by Stephen Curtis Chapman

The sun was beating down inside the walls of stone and razor wire
As we made our way across the prison yard
I felt my heart begin to race as we drew nearer to the place
Where they say that death is waiting in the dark
The slamming doors of iron echoed through the halls
Where despair holds life within its cruel claws

But then I met a man who's face seemed so strangely out of place
A blinding light of hope was shining in his eyes
And with repentance in his voice he told me of his tragic choice
That led him to this place where he must pay the price
But then his voice grew strong as he began to tell
About the One he said had rescued him from hell, he said . . .


I'm free, yeah, oh, I have been forgiven
God's love has taken off my chains and given me these wings
And I'm free, yeah, yeah, and the freedom I've been given
Is something that not even death can take away from me
Because I'm free
Jesus set me free

We said a prayer and said goodbye and tears began to fill my eyes
As I stepped back out into the blinding sun
And even as I drove away I found that I could not escape
The way he spoke of what the grace of God had done
I thought about how sin had sentenced us to die
And how God gave His only Son so you and I could say . . .

And if the Son has set you free,
Oh, if the Son has set you free
Then you are free indeed,
Oh, you are really free
If the Son has set you free,
Oh, if the Son has set you free
Then you are free, really, really, free

Oh, we're free, yeah, oh, we have been forgiven
God's grace has broken every chain and given us these wings
And we're free, yeah, yeah, and the freedom we've been given
Is something that not even death can take from you and me because we're free.

----------------------------

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. " (John 8:36)

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful today for a multitude of things and I want to publicly share all that God is and has done in my life. I believe there is power when we give thanks because we are declaring what God has done and this process helps to strengthen our faith and stengthen us along our journey of faith.

• I am thankful that on my way to work a van was driving next to me with the words "Jesus is Coming" in English and Spanish, written on the window with paint. This blessed me today!



• I am thankful that last Saturday my husband and I celebrated an incredible Valentines Day. We went to a beautiful dinner at a friend's house and we enjoyed a wonderful catered meal, and awesome fellowship with other Christian couples. We also heard a message about marriage from my friend Mary and her husband, as they shared their testimony about all God has done. It was definitely a night to remember. (Plus, I won the raffle...) This is a miracle because last Valentines Day my husband and I were separated and things were pretty tough. I am thankful that God is doing great things in our marriage and he is in the process of restoring us according to the verse he gave me before we got married. Here is the verse He gave me regarding our marriage:

Isaiah 43:18-19 (New International Version)
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

• I am sooo thankful that this past Tuesday my step-daughter Lexy actually came to me to initiate our weekly Tuesday Bible study. I usually have to go chase her down to start our study and this week, she came in my room with her book ready to go. She did mutter that she wanted to begin because she was *bored*, but I know how to decipher teenage code, she was excited.
  
  
• I am thankful that my husband got laid off last month. Yes, I am thankful! I am thankful because I am excited to see what God has in store for him next. God has given me a supernatural peace about the entire thing and I am excited to see what happens next. I love new beginnings.



• I am also thankful that God is blessing my mom. She has been going through some financial hardships and it's great to see her spirits up and God working within her. This is a huge answer to my prayers for the last year. It is one thing to pray about something about 1000 times, but it is another thing to see God answer. I am so thankful for a loving God who answers prayer.

Brokenness

I love My Walk Mondays because I am always encouraged by the wonderful posts the ladies contribute. I love to be encouraged and sharpened by the wisdom that the others bring to the table. It is great because we are all able to bless each other and grow alongside one another.

I would like to share this week on the topic of brokenness. I am reading a book titled, "Brokenness, Surrender and Holiness" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. This book is a great book and all, but it is quite hard to read. It is not a sweet, fluffy book which makes the reader feel *great* after. Nancy is a hard hitter and she gets right to the point. This is one of the main reasons why I love her books. I long to be close to Jesus, I long for Him to have all of me, and I don't want to hold anything back. I am excited to finish this book because I want to be broken before my Jesus.

The first segment of the book is entirely on brokenness and there is even a questionnaire if you will, one might take to determine their brokenness level:

*Proud people are unapproachable or defensive when corrected.
-Broken people receive correction with a humble, open spirit.
*Proud people crave self-advancement.
-Broken people desire to promote others.
*Proud people are elated by praise and deflated by criticism.
-Broken people know that any praise of their accomplishments belongs to the Lord and that criticism can help them grow into spiritual maturity.
*Proud people try to control the circumstances and people around them-they are prone to manipulate.
-Broken people trust in God-they rest in Him and are able to wait for Him to act on their behalf.

These are just a few of the many questions to ask yourself regarding your own brokenness factor. I was very humbled when reading these and immediately discouraged because their is no amount of will power that I can use to muster up these broken attributes. I cannot make myself be this person, nor can I try to model these characteristics. These characteristics are fruits of walking in the Spirit and allowing the Spirit to be in control verses the flesh. I am thankful that God is gracious and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me according to Philippians 4:13. I can walk in the Spirit so I don't have to fulfill the deeds of the flesh. I can be a humble person because it's not my power doing it, it's His. God already knows my flesh, nor is He surprised of it, and all that is required of me is to take a look in the mirror and submit to Him.

"I have been crucified with Christ, it's no longer I who live but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." Galatians 2:20

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Philippians 2:13

Dear Jesus, thank you for your Word. Thank you for who You are and Your great love for me. I ask that you would take my heart of stone and transform my heart into a soft pliable heart that can be used by you. Break my flesh down and mold me into that which brings you glory and joy to those around me. Please give me a humble and broken heart, and forgive me for allowing my flesh and pride to take over. Thank you for your grace and unfailing love which makes this brokenness possible. I love you Daddy. Amen.

Confessions of a Step Mom!

Well as you may know I am a step-mom to a 13 year old wonderful girl. I think this is probably one of the hardest things I have ever come across in my entire life. Being a new step-mom to someone who doesn't necessarily need or want "another mom" is probably one of the most humbling and painful things I have ever experienced. However, as I have seen the Lord work in our relationship, it has also been one of the most beautiful things I could have imagined. He has actually changed and is changing my heart towards her and teaching me to be patient and to love. My heart's desire is to be there for her and watch her grow up to be a woman who loves Jesus with all of her heart.

I am starting a bible study with her on Tuesday nights using the book "Lies Young Women Believe." Tonight was our second week and things went a lot better tonight than last week....

Let's just say Satan tried to attack us really bad last week and now I can see why. I was so blessed tonight as Lexy opened up her heart a little bit more to the study and felt more comfortable with reading out loud with me. I am so excited to watch her grow and be ministered to as we both learn together.

Please pray for us!!!!!!

Salvation and Sin according to 1 John

This week is the concluding week in our study of 1 John in our Women's Bible Study. I have learned so much in this study and I have been so blessed to get to know the ladies. I have never gone through a Precept study by Kay Arthur before and I hope this will not be my last! The homework for this study always keeps me busy but I am amazed at how in depth this study has been.

The book of 1 John was written by John who also wrote the Gospel of John and the book of Revelation. John was also termed "the disciple whom Jesus loved" and he also wrote based upon what he saw firsthand. He had such a strong desire to urge the Christians to turn away from the teaching of the Gnostics and realize they were in fact saved by faith in Christ.

I loved this study because I never knew this much depth and importance was in the little book of 1 John. I guess I never have really studied it before so this was new to me. I enjoyed getting to know John's style of teaching and the heart behind this epistle. He also used many similiarites to his writings in the Gospel of John.

John spoke over and over and over..... on the concepts of sin and salvation. He not only urged people to embrace Christ, but to also understand what in fact salvation was, and how this related to the concept of sin. It seems there was a lot of confusion surrounding salvation and John wanted to clear this up by warning the people of the false teachers of the day who were trying to steer them from the truth. John also continually pointed them to the "evidences" of salvation.

John wanted the Christians to know what salvation looked like in the life of the believer. He continually spoke on love and obedience as key evidences of salvation in the life of the believer. I thought this was not only interesting but convicting...

John also contrasted the concept of sin vs. a life of habitual sin. John pointed out that Christians cannot continue to live in habitual sin because they are born of God's seed. They are not able to!

• "No one born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in Him; he cannot go on sinning because he has been born of God." 1 John 3:9 (sin=infinitive)

The concept of continuing in sin is a different form of the word for sin which is found in 1 John 2:1. John points out that when a believer does sin, Jesus makes intercession for them to the Father. The sin in John 2:1 is the sinful nature that all believers will continue to struggle with until they go to be with the Father. This form of "sin" is different to the habitual sinful way of life that is found in 1 John 3:9.

• "But if anybody does sin(one point in time), we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense-Jesus Christ, the Righteous One." 1 John 2:1b

The difference among these two uses of sin is a lifestyle.

My Walk Mondays

This last weekend I had the privilege to attend the Elizabeth George conference. It was such a complete and total blessing. Elizabeth George is one of my favorite authors. Some of my favorite books of hers are: Putting on a Gentle and Quiet Spirit, Loving God with all your mind, and Beautiful in God's Eyes. I love her books because she is not only a great author, but she always points the reader straight to God's Word. Her grace combined with truth is truly captivating.
There were a few things which she spoke on which stuck in my mind. The first session of the conference was titled "First things First." She spoke of how we need to be in God's word because we constantly need to be renewing our mind. We also need to spend time in prayer with the Father just as Jesus did. She also mentioned that we need to be a person of "one book." This is interesting because she has written over 50 books but she pointed people to God's word first and foremost. This is key because there are so many great books out there on so many different subjects, but we need to put his Word first. She explained how she has counseled and trained women up over the years and how she has encouraged women in their walks. She also attributes her success to God's word simply working in women's lives. She knew it had nothing to do with anything she has brought to the table.

She also spoke on another discipline which centers around Philippians 4:8. This is the discipline of the mind and how we need to love God with all of our mind. To love God with the mind means to think on things above. We need to train our mind to meditate on truth. We need to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

True: (e.g)Matter of Fact-God's Word, His promises, His character
Noble:
Right
Pure:
Lovely:
Admirable:
Excellent:
Praiseworthy:

She shared about her struggle with depression and how common it is for women. She shared the importance of disciplining one's thoughts on the things of God, and not focusing on the past or future. It is amazing how women can often get bombarded with the past and how they could have done things differently. The "if only's" are a very sneaky trick that Satan loves to use to trip up women. She emphasized the importance of memorizing God's word which helps to hide the word(truth) in the heart.
2 Corinthians 5:17: "Therefore, If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, old things have passed away; behold all things have become new."
She also shared the importance of praying God's word. This is true because we need to pray God's word when we are going through various trials of life. We are not to focus on our emotions or how we are "feeling" because feelings are not real. We need to focus on God's character which never changes. We need to remember the promises of God and pray according to His word. This is major because trials are inevitable in the life of the believer. They just are. We are either going into a trial, in the middle of one, or coming out of a trial and we need to constantly focus on the Lord, not our present circumstances, and pray accordingly.

This conference was such a blessing because I am reminded to Love God with all of my mind which includes what I meditate on. I am a new creation in Christ because I believe 2 Corinthians 5:17. My friend Terry has this verse as her actual email address because she lives out what the Bible says. It is vital to actually "live out" what God's truth states because Satan is the accuser of the Brethren(Rev. 12:10) and he is by his very nature the "Father of Lies" according to John 8:44. He would love nothing better to walk around accusing people and tripping them up with their past or their future. She also brought up a good point at the conference. Some women can get into trouble in their thinking because sometimes they don't "feel forgiven." She was really funny and hilarious throughout the conference, but she made a good point. We should never let our "feelings" run our life or place themselves above what God's Word says. If we do this we are actually saying God did not die on the cross for our sins and this act was not in fact enough.

Women can also easily fall into the trap of worrying about the future. This is a major cause of stress and anxiety especially in this day and age.

I am reminded of the famous quote by Corrie Tin Boom, "Look outside, get distressed, look inside, get depressed, look to Jesus be at rest."

My Walk Monday 01/28/09: Wise Counsel

I am catching up on my "My Walk Monday" even though today is Wednesday.

I have been meaning to write something that God has placed on my heart lately. This post is titled "Wise Counsel" because this is something that is sooooo important to me and my walk with the Lord. I don't know where I would be without the wonderful people God has brought in my life. As I have been meditating on this post for the last week Psalms Chapter 1 keeps coming to mind.

Psalms Chapter 1 is a very important chapter because it speaks of the importance of having solid biblical counsel and how it can make or break the life of the believer. This particular Psalm speaks of how blessed (or happy) the person is who walks in the counsel of the Godly and contrasts this to the person who walks in the counsel of the ungodly. The Psalm likened the man or woman, who sought godly counsel to a tree which was big and strong with strong roots which kept the Christian in different difficult seasons of life. This blessed (happy) person is one who mediates on the Bible and who seeks counsel from godly people. The opposite is the person who seeks ungodly counsel. This person is like a tree which dries up during hard times, and leaves wither. They are also unable to produce fruit because they are disconnected from the "water source."

I have witnessed this in my own life and I am forever grateful for many people whom God has placed in my life. I don't understand why He loves me so much and why He is so good to me. From my youth pastors who loved me unconditionally, to the various people he has blessed me with, I am forever thankful. I will never forget two particular women who God brought to me, both in times of great need in my life. I had the opportunity to spend time with these women last weekend and I every time I do, I am completely refreshed and encouraged. They have taught me things like forgiveness, prayer, humility, submission, and more than that they have unconditionally loved me when I have been most unlovable. It's not only the things they have taught me which have been most instrumental, but it's their lives that have spoken to me the loudest. I have seen the way the treat their husbands, and how they raise their children, and I only hope one day I can be that example for someone else. I hope to one day become that type of women.

I will never forget Mary who sat with me time and time again during my years of drug addiction. She loved me and continued to pray for me relentlessly. Although I was very lost and broken, I remember she would just sit, listen, and pray for me as I cried and cried. She also has put up with me over the years and I am forever grateful for her. She has taught me sooo much about marriage and continues to give me solid biblical counsel even when I am stubborn. :) I have enjoyed being in her bible studies and I have learned so much about the women God desires me to be. I have known her for about 12 years, and I know it was God who brought her along my path.

I am so blessed by Terry who is also a gift from God. I will never forget the first time I met her, I knew it was God. I first saw her heart for prayer and we immediately became friends. Her willingness to share her testimony and continue to reach out to me when I was not able to give anything in return was a gift which I will never understand. I was at a very hard time in my life once again, but looking back I can see how God orchestrated the entire thing. She took me through a study called Healed and Set Free at a time in my life where God was healing me from some very painful things. Her testimony and example has meant the world to me.

What has blessed me the most about these women is their consistency and devotion to the Lord. They have truly weathered the storms of life, and they have become stronger and stronger. When getting counsel from someone it's vital that they point you to the Word of God. It's one thing to tell people what we think, or how we feel, but it's soooooo crucial to point people to the truth in God's word. God's truth combined with the power of the Holy Spirit is what heals and sets free.

Thank you Jesus.

Politics in Perilous Times

Well tomorrow is President Obama's inauguration speech and I am a little frustrated. Okay a lot. It makes me sad to think of what is happening in our country. Then I turn on the news today and they are speaking of the Inauguration Party and how it is going to cost $150 million dollars just to celebrate Obama's entrance into the White House, which is 3 times what Bush's inauguration cost. I just don't understand why that much money is being spent on a welcome party, when the economy is in such bad shape.

What is even stranger to me is why Christians are so tolerant lately. I guess to me the truth is pretty black and white. When I picture America, I think of Sodom and Gomorrah and how Lot had to run and take his family out of the wicked city in order to be saved from destruction. His wife however turned back to look at Sodom and then she was turned into a pillar of salt. She turned back because she could not leave the sinful lifestyle behind. For some reason she felt she needed to look back because she was drawn to it. But see Lot should not have chosen to reside near Sodom in the first place. Abram gave him his choice of land to reside in, he was given the first pick. The decision Lot made almost cost him his entire family.

This reminds me of sin and how this world is so full of sin and deception. I guess I just am discouraged but why should I be? Jesus already warned us these times would come. The end times are inevitable and to me they are here for sure. I guess I am just disappointed by Christians who just don't want to rock the boat. They don't ever want to make any waves, because they want to blend in. They will vote for anyone, just merely based upon what he can "do" for them, or for equality rights. I believe Christians especially should vote their conscience and not try to blend in. They especially should vote for morals above money. Matthew 6:33 says "But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things shall be added unto you." We aren't supposed to vote for the man who will make the wisest economic decisions or who is most heroic. We are supposed to vote for the man who fears God. When we put God first, he promises to meet our needs.

I just don't understand why I drive into church and people have Obama stickers on their cars, and people have Obama all over their websites and Facebook sites. These things make me sad because this is a sign of weak morale.

This indicates the heart of the people who are making a choice on where they stand. They are choosing what matters most to them, and it is not morals or right and wrong. This is a "sign" of the inner heart. I also don't understand why Obama would want a well known pastor to pray during his inauguration. I am unsure what type of message he wants to convey. This is strange to me. Sort of like asking God to bless me as I am about to sign in a massive amount of immoral and wicked legislature. Sort of like I want God's blessing on my endeavours but I don't want any sort of guidelines or commandments to follow.

It seems now more than ever Christians need to stand up for what is right. They need to lift up what is right, and encourage other Christians to do the same. I think of Jay Sekulow from the ACLJ, and how he is continuously fighting to keep Christian rights in effect and all the work he puts in. I respect him because he is willing to stand up and fight for what is right. http://www.aclj.org/

The prophets in the Bible also stood up for what is right as they spoke of the Messiah to come. The disciples started the early church even though they underwent horrific persecution. The cool thing is the persecution is actually what scattered and grew the church. :)

"But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground.(Hebrews 11:35b-38)



As I look all around it is evident we are in perilous times. Why are people so oblivious to the Lord? Why are Christians turning away? Why is there such a pull towards the things of this World and such a complacency in the church? Shouldn't it be the opposite?

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" Isaiah 5:20


What breaks my heart the most is the amount of people I know who call themselves "Christians". Even in my own family, there are so many people who claim they know Jesus Christ. They claim they are saved and born again. They are sure that they are going to heaven and they proclaim it with boldness. They shed a tear when Christ is mentioned, but their lives display someone who is completely torn. Sometimes I wonder if I will see them in heaven one day. I get sad when I see so many people from my Christian High School, who now 10 years later, want nothing to do with Christianity. They are successful men and women who are interested in glamour and worldliness. I think of how empty they must be and how they are searching for something or someone to fill the hole only God can fill. I think of the verse that haunts me sometimes because I wonder how many of these people are really saved at all.

Matthew 7:14 reads:

"But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Notice this verse does not say how many find it, or the massive amounts of people who find it. No. It says narrow is the road and only a FEW find it.

This breaks my heart.

I wonder how many people have lived in their own Sodom so long that they are being pulled towards it's lies. It saddens me how sin is so deceptive and how even if they are given the opportunity to get out like Lot was, how they would still look back.

However, in the midst of all things Christians are called to pray for their leaders. No matter what. Also, we are to remember that they will know us by our love for one another. We need to get over our frustrations and walk in love. No matter if we disagree. We are called to honor the authority which is placed over us by God and pray. We are supposed to be as wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove.
"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."(Matthew 10:16)
I am thankful God is in control despite what is going on, and who is in office. We need to constantly remember this world is not our home and like C28's motto says: We are Not of This World. NTW.


"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

My Walk Mondays

I am dedicating this post to my friend Carolyn Garland. She is an awesome woman of God whom I respect very much. Her blog is incredible... I really don't understand how she does it. She also has her own scrapbooking business called Scrapping Servant. You can find her at http://scrappingservant.blogspot.com/

She is really into the whole art of scrapbooking, it is really incredible. She can bust out backgrounds like nobody else. About a year ago I actually bought some materials from her at a craft show, because I decided I would try my hand at scrapbooking. I decided I would make a Prayer Scrapbook complete with pictures of my family, so I could pray for them. Bad idea. Let's just say my scrapbook was scrapped. :) Sorry Carolyn, I really did try. I just had no idea I couldn't use Elmer's glue. I guess am just not artsy enough.

Carolyn also displays a concept on her blog called My Walk Mondays. It's basically just a group of bloggers who get together and share what God is showing them every Monday. I think it is a really great idea. I even started looking around and found some really awesome blogs of some Christians out there who are really sold out for God. It was really encouraging to me.

So here I go.

Today I decided to read Psalms 19 and Proverbs 19 since today is the 19th.

I really enjoy reading the Psalms and Proverbs of the day because it's a great balance. Psalms is usually really encouraging and soothing. While Proverbs is more wisdom for the day. Today's' Psalm is beautiful. This Psalms is referring to the greatness of God and How beautiful He is. As I was reading this Psalm I felt such joy. It reminds me of the joy that comes from serving God. He really does fill us with His joy and peace. His truth gives light to our eyes. His ordinances are more precious than gold. Gold is lame compared to Him. I am just so in love with Him. I just want more of Him.

The last verse really hit me though. I love how David always openly and honestly took a look in the mirror, and brought his whole self to God. He longed for his heart to be pure before God. This reminds me of my own heart, and how I long to be pure before Him. So often my heart if so full of junk, but I am reminded to always come to Him to be made clean. Not only should I come to God with my heart today, but I also need to meditate on things which are good and pleasing before Him throughout the day. This is my goal for Monday January 19, 2009.

I particularly enjoyed the end of the Psalm:

Psalms 19:7-14

7. The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
8. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
9. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous.
10. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
11. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
12. Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
13. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
14. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

How to Be a David in a Saul World

Christians exist to be in a relationship with God. God created us to glorify Him. Since God loves people, if we love him we will feed his sheep(John 21:17). But the question is:

• How do we achieve this day to day?

How do we walk in relationship with Jesus, grow, and accomplish this task? King David faced this dilemma throughout his life, as he sought out to follow the Lord. His very life illustrated the work of Jesus who seeks a broken vessel to accomplish his tasks. David went through outrageous trials in his life at the hand of a man named King Saul.

In the book: "A Tale of Three Kings" Edwards speaks of certain truths which blow my mind. In fact all of Jesus' teachings also blow my mind. I just don't understand how God would place us in situations like David and expect us to be okay. It is hard to grasp the teachings of forgiveness, humility, and turning the other cheek. But the more I understand the Lord, it all makes sense. The more I understand His love, the more I WANT to live a life which is one that will bring Him glory.

You see real Christianity has nothing to do with the American culture today. Real Christianity is about dying to self and brokenness before the Lord. So often the world's philosophies and psychologies talks about building up self and taking care of "me." They are opposite to the truths of scripture and this grieves me so much. I just care about people and I want people to experience the best. I want them to experience God's greatness and His heart in their own lives. I am not talking about a life free of problems and trials. This will never happen this side of heaven. I am referring to a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ with peace and hope in the midst of these things. I believe that this can only happen when we follow the truths of scripture and turn away from the worldly ways of thinking.

"If I just set the right boundaries than nobody will ever mess with me."
"I won't be treated like_____________."
"I won't stand for this or that."
"I, I, I. Me, me, me."
"I need to learn to love myself."
"I need some me time."
"I will get revenge."
"They will be sorry....."
"I have a right to feel this way. I have the right to have this pain and act like this or that."
"It's always their fault. It can never be my fault."
"I need to explore my self."


I just don't see these things in the Bible. In fact they aren't there. Basically these worldly motto's are pride. Too much self introspection is a form of self loathing which centers around the "me" mentality which can be unhealthy and dangerous. The Bible tells us our hearts our wicked at the very core. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?(Jeremiah 17:9)."

The end result of these attitudes is often bitterness and a lack of character. Throughout the Bible there is a goal of being God centered, not self centered. We are supposed to deny ourselves, not constantly be about self.

Matthew 16:24,25 reads: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life he will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Christians are not supposed to focus on their own needs all the time. They are to be other's centered. I am not talking about living a life of a martyr and denying one's every need. I am also not talking about not dealing with sin in our lives. I am talking about fixing one's eyes on Jesus and His truths and walking in Him. When we lift up the name of Jesus in worship, when we fix our hearts and mind on the promises of God, when we fix our attention on obeying Him and surrendering the junk in our lives, our circumstances seem to melt away in light of His greatness.

It is quite possible to be a Saul in today's world. It is actually easier, and takes less work. It just all depends on what you want I guess.

I thought it was interesting that Edwards' points out that we all have authority figures in our lives, that are either one of two types of people. They can be a king after the order of David or Saul. It is also interesting that we can never really know for sure which one they are. We can't know this because God is the judge, not us. Therefore, whether it be a boss, a friend, a leader, or relative that brings us pain, it is there for a purpose. It could be that the very pain we experience in the hands of these people, is what God is using as a source of character building in us. They could be the very thing which God seeks to use to break us. The very friction we experience as we brush shoulders with them, is the chisel God is using to cleanse the impurities of us, His vessels.
God likes us when we are broken, because that is where humility lies. David himself knew this point as he wrote Psalms 51. "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise(Psalms 51:17)."

I love the point that Edwards' makes:

"You have your eyes on the wrong King Saul. As long as you look at your king you will blame him, and him alone, for your present hell. But be careful, for God has his eyes fastened sharply on another King Saul. Not the visible one standing up there throwing spears at you. No, God is looking at another King Saul. One just as bad- or worse.
God is looking at the King Saul in you(page 24)."

I think we as Christians need to turn the focus off of our circumstances and onto Jesus. We also need to not blame other people for our circumstances or pain. We need to take everything as a learning tool to grow. All we can do is focus on ourselves and make sure that we are walking in obedience to him. We need to be humble like David and forsake the Saul mentality which is prevalent in our culture today. We need to not be about self, but forsake self and surrender our all to Jesus. When we are in a trial, we need to seek God for wisdom on how to handle certain situations. We need His guidance to help lead us everyday. His Word also provides the truth we need to navigate through life. We also learn from the book of James that trials produce patience and character. We cannot control what happens around us, but we can control our reactions and CHOOSE to seek God for his help and grace to make the needed changes in us. We need the Holy Spirit which is alive inside of us to produce the fruits of the Spirit.

James 1:2-5 reads: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. "

Maybe we should start thanking God for the trials in our lives which are producing in us the fruits which will glorify Him. :) Amen? Amen.